Attitude Adjustments











{March 25, 2008}   #20-Italian Honeymoon

bride and groom

Italian Honeymoon
Date of Joke: Monday, 6th June, 2005

After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Cleveland to say hello to his friends. Giovanni said, “Hey Luigi, how wassah de treepa?”

Luigi said, “Everytinga wassah perfecto except for da traina ride down.””Whadda you mean, Luigi?” asked Giovanni.”Well, we boarda da train at Granna Central Station. My beautiful Virginia, she packa bigga basket a food. She broughta vino, some nice cigars for me, and we were looking a forward to da trip. Everytinga wassah okey dokey until we getta hungry and open uppa da luncha basket. The conductore comma by, wagga hissa finger at us an say, “no eat in dissa car. Musta use a dining car.” “So, me and my beautiful Virginia, we go to dining car, eat a bigga luncha and start to open a bottle of nice vino! Conductore walka by again, waga hissa finger and say, “No drinka in dissa car. Musta use a club a car.”

So, we go to club car. “While drinkin vino, I start to lighta my biga cigar. The conductore, he wagga hissa finger again and say, “No smokin in dissa car. Musta go to smokin car. We go to smokin car and I smoka my biga cigar.” “Then my beautiful Virginia and I, we go to sleeper car anda go to bed. We just about to go boomada boomada and the conductore, he walka through da hall shouting at da top of hissa voice, “Nofolka Virginia! Nofolka Virginia!” “Next time, Ima gonna takea da bus!”

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{March 15, 2008}   #16-Sex Education

littleboy

Bad Daddy
Date of Joke: Thursday, 7th December, 2006

One day while Little Johnny and his freind Arnie were playing out in the back yard,they started talking about their dads.

Lil Johnny; My daddy is tougher than yours!

Arnie; No way bud, my daddy is bad!

Lil Johnny; I’m telling you man, my dad is badder than yours.

Arnie; Man, my dad is so bad he took the motor out of his car with his bare hands and threw it on the ground! THATS how bad he is!

Lil Johnny; Man that is pretty bad, but my dad is badder than that! Arnie;Oh yaeh? How’s that?

Lil Johnny;My dad is so bad that he eats light bulbs.

Arnie; Huh? No way. Have you seen him do that?

Lil Johnny; No, but I was passing by him and mom’s bedroom door the other night and heard him tell mom “Turn out that light so I can eat that thing,” THAT’s how bad he is!

You have just experienced an attitude adjustment. Smile, and pass it on. You and your kids might want to view the sex education video, which is no joke.  Thanks!




et cetera