Attitude Adjustments











Pastor’s Business Card

A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners.  At one house
  it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his
                      repeated knocks at the door.

Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote “Revelation 3:20” on the
                  back of it and stuck it in the door.

 When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his
 card had been returned.  Added to it was this cryptic message, “Genesis
                                 3:10.”

Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of
   laughter.  Revelation 3:20 begins “Behold, I stand at the door and
knock.”  Genesis 3:10 reads, “I heard your voice in the garden and I was
                        afraid for I was naked.”

          Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones?
                      They still are!   Pass it on-
             “A cheerful heart is good medicine” (Prov. 17:22)

Advertisements


{April 19, 2008}   #23-Up and Down

A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, ‘Paw, what’s at?’ The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, ‘Son, I dunno. I ain’t never seen anything like that in my whole life; I ain’t got no idea’r what it is.’ While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small cir cular n umber above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year-old blonde woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son
 …. ‘Boy……………. ..go git cha Momma…………..
 



et cetera