Attitude Adjustments











{March 25, 2008}   #20-Italian Honeymoon

bride and groom

Italian Honeymoon
Date of Joke: Monday, 6th June, 2005

After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Cleveland to say hello to his friends. Giovanni said, “Hey Luigi, how wassah de treepa?”

Luigi said, “Everytinga wassah perfecto except for da traina ride down.””Whadda you mean, Luigi?” asked Giovanni.”Well, we boarda da train at Granna Central Station. My beautiful Virginia, she packa bigga basket a food. She broughta vino, some nice cigars for me, and we were looking a forward to da trip. Everytinga wassah okey dokey until we getta hungry and open uppa da luncha basket. The conductore comma by, wagga hissa finger at us an say, “no eat in dissa car. Musta use a dining car.” “So, me and my beautiful Virginia, we go to dining car, eat a bigga luncha and start to open a bottle of nice vino! Conductore walka by again, waga hissa finger and say, “No drinka in dissa car. Musta use a club a car.”

So, we go to club car. “While drinkin vino, I start to lighta my biga cigar. The conductore, he wagga hissa finger again and say, “No smokin in dissa car. Musta go to smokin car. We go to smokin car and I smoka my biga cigar.” “Then my beautiful Virginia and I, we go to sleeper car anda go to bed. We just about to go boomada boomada and the conductore, he walka through da hall shouting at da top of hissa voice, “Nofolka Virginia! Nofolka Virginia!” “Next time, Ima gonna takea da bus!”

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{February 28, 2008}   #3-That Parrot Party

parrot cartoonA man received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully-grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren’t expletives were, to say the least, extremely rude

The man tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything that came to mind.

Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird, the bird got worse.

He shook the bird and the bird got more angry and exceedingly rude.

Finally, in a moment of desperation, he put the parrot in the freezer.

For a few moments he heard the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all was quiet.

The man was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto the man’s extended arm and said: “I’m sorry that I offended you with my language and actions. I ask for your forgiveness. I will try to improve my behavior.”

The man was astounded at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what changed him when the parrot continued, “…May I ask what the chicken did?”  –Author Unknown

You have just had an attitude adjustment! Smiling causes less wrinkles and frowning causes more!  Pleasure does help your disposition, pass it on!  Thanks!



et cetera